The Yorubas have something they call Bisi fimu finle. In modern times, such is called a Spy. This spy is usually hired by the family of the groom; the family of the bride hire theirs as well. This spy makes findings about the family of the other party. The findings most times reveal certain things which can deter the union. These findings could be defects (albinism, mental illness, dwarfism), dirtiness, bad neighborhood record etc. In the revelation of such, if both families still decide to go ahead in join their children together, of course with the children’s consent, then the children will brace up for the expected cos they already have knowledge of it. For example, a man who is well aware of the history of mental illness in the family of his wife to be will hardly bail out of a marriage with her if she suddenly becomes mentally ill.
To avoid ending up in a marriage with someone with unwanted qualities, it is advisable to hire a spy who will monitor everything about that person before you tie the knot. Whatever the spy finds will be tabled before your family members who will advice you on what step to take.
A lady who is about to marry might discover that the husband to be drinks heavily, smokes or even womanizes. If the spy relays such info to the family of the bride to be, that can make them call the relationship off cos they won’t want their daughter to have a sorrow-filled marriage. A man on the other hand can discover that his soon to be wife has a past in prostitution, promiscuity or has done multiple abortions.
If the about to be married child insists on going ahead with the marriage out of love or out of stupidity, then the parents might reluctantly give such a child their blessings and warn the child never to come back home crying about the issues they’ve discovered about the other partner.
Most things people complain about in the behaviour of their partner in marriage are usually things they were well aware of before the marriage. The problem with them is that they didn’t let their parents know or they made it appear to them as an harmless thing. But when a spy is hired, no matter how harmless the about to be married child paints the fowl behaviour of the partner, mostly due to being blinded by love, the account of the spy will reveal a lot. That is when the family can now pray over the situation for guidance on the next step to take.
This simple action can help expose the tendency for domestic violence, cheating, late nights, disrespect for in laws, abuse and other fowl behaviour that can be masked away from the knowledge of a spouse during courtship. But to know such, you have to have other eyes viewing for you, cos no matter how much you think you know your partner, an outsider’s view can sometimes be better than yours. Hire a spy today so as to know the imperfection of that partner of yours. If they are things you and your parents feel you can cope with, go ahead with the marriage.
This method can be considered as one of the reasons why the rate of divorce in the past was very low and almost unheard of. I’ll like you to counter or support this method, stating reasons for your stance.